Anonymous asked: there's a girl i'm kinda in love with but it's hard because we've never met in real life and she lives thousands of miles away. i want to be in like a relationship but i'm just scared it'll be hard? idk what i'm trying to ask but can you offer any advice?
talk to them about what they would be wanting/needing from a relationship!! if youre both willing and able to maintain the amount of communication you need from each other and agree on what u each need in terms of sexual and emotional aspects, long distance can be amazing!!! whats important is clear communication (do u want to talk more often? do u feel supported? are u satisfied? happy?) and clear boundaries (if the relationship is open, establish it and its boundaries before anything else. if ur relationship is sexual discuss your needs and comfort zones!! make sure everyone is happy and knows what is going on!)
really it comes down to ur individual needs. long distance can be easy if ur both happy with communication/emotional support/etc!!! where it gets hard is when ur needs exceed the bounds of an online relationship. for the right people long distance is the support they need while liberating in physical aspects!!! but for others it fosters jealousy and bad vibes so make sure ur both aware of whats up before u get into it!
"For queerness can never define an identity; it can only ever disturb one."
Lee Edelman, No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive